Things I Learned on Safari

Elephants are awesome. Lions and giraffes, also awesome. Zebras have a lot of gas in their stomach (created by symbiotic bacteria), fart often, especially when startled, and look pregnant year round. Hippos have surprisingly small legs, are slightly pink colored, and can trot daintily – suddenly the image of fantasia’s dancing pink hippos makes more sense. I am like a small child when faced with large animals in their natural habitat – way more excited and awe filled than I expected.

The vacation seems ill-fated as we wake up early for the drive to Zambia’s South Luwangwa National Park. There’s no power at the house, meaning no caffeine for Nathaniel. I manage to find an open coffee shop (no small feat on any day in Lilongwe, and especially impressive given it’s Good Friday) however they have apparently just installed a new espresso machine and, after impatiently waiting 30 minutes, we have to bolt down our cappuccinos to get on the road. 

We’re feeling better after a breezy stretch of well maintained highway between Lilongwe and the border. The crossing is also hassily but relatively painless and we’re through in less than an hour. And then…130km of rough dirt road. The RAV takes it like a champ, only scraping bottom once but we’re sweaty, bedraggled and grouchy with each other by the time we finally near the park. We’re literally only a few kilometers away when we encounter a rumpus of vehicles in the road. Really people?! We’ve been on the road for eight hours – can’t you just let us through?! Oh wait. There are GIRAFFES RIGHT THERE!!!

The mood is immediately lifted, and things only get better as we pull into Flatdogs Camp to find an extremely welcoming, professional and efficient staff and a gorgeous setting. Our slowness on the road (we do have to sell the car in a few months, after all) has put us behind other arrivals and we’ve missed out on a tent platform. Luckily, that small disappointment can barely dent our mood after a refreshing swim in the river-side pool, some delicious cocktails and dinner and a gorgeous sunset over the river.

Hippos are pretty ubiquitous in camp – you can hear them snorting, mooing, calling, all day. Sort of like a big man using a tuba like a kazoo to laugh through. And as we’re eating dinner the first night, the waiter comes over to tell us that hippos are grazing on the lawn. (They come out of the river at night to browse until the sun comes up.) There they are - munching away only about twenty feet from us. At night, they come and browse right near the tents – totally ignoring you unless you startle them. I’m barely bothered by the fact that I’m woken by one at 3am. It’s exciting to see them so close! Only downside: neither Nathaniel or I are willing to risk getting out of the tent to pee, which makes it a bit of a long stretch until morning.

The game drives (6am-10am and again from 4pm-8pm) are incredible. Animals everywhere in abundance! By the end of our first game drive, we’re passing some elephants playing in a marsh to the left and our guide doesn’t even pause. Instead he’s whipping off the road to the right to show us a leopard tortoise, which is apparently much tougher to spot. Other exciting events that aren’t possible to capture on film: a fish eagle swooping down and catching a fish, an elephant sniffing at us while we crouch down to avoid angering him on our walking safari (don’t worry – the guides are super professional and armed), and lions roaring to one another across the field. The animals don’t really seem to be bothered by the safari trucks at all. In fact, when we see a leopard, there’s a sad and chaotic jumble of about ten safari trucks all roaring around each other to try to secure better views, and he just ignores us, stalking off into the bush. (Apparently this level of crowding is pretty unusual and is due to the holiday weekend.) Mostly, we appreciate that both of our guides make an effort to get away from the crowds. 

There's still a lot of sitting, but between the amazing service and wider variety of activities at the camp, the cushy seats and mid-drive tea breaks and the amazing sights, it's a whole different ball of wax than our first safari (sorry Malawi). Check out a few of our best photos...

Now back to the grind for the homestretch!